I don’t know where I went in 2018, but when I say I stepped into sin, I definitely went somewhere foreign. Often you will hear someone say I “fell away” from God or I “fell from Grace” and those statements are true, but you always make a decision – to do what is right or to do what is wrong – regardless of your why. So as part of my accountability, I am choosing to say I STEPPED in to sin. You see, I spent most of last year battling fear and not trusting the Lord. While I prayed for certain things, to get me there God was asking me to take big leaps and the answers scared me, so I ignored His requests and took matters into my own hands.
And really, that is what I have been doing most of my life anyway. Always looking at life and thinking, I know best. My thoughts usually go: “How on earth is God gonna pull this off, I better help him out” – “There is no way He has something better than my solution” – “His way scares me, surely my way will be easier” – – – No judging allowed, I’m just trying to be real.
Needless to say, I dug a hole I couldn’t get out of without turning to Him, repenting to not only Him, but to those I hurt. Looking back now, I can see the entire path and the difference choices I could have taken, but chose not to. The most sobering thing, is that had I trusted him and obeyed in January, I wouldn’t have even been in the position to get in trouble. The lesson here…just TRUST. Trust HIM, he never has harm for you and I promise you if He’s asking you to step out, he will order your steps and protect you.
When I got my word for 2019 from the Lord, I was so full of shame, there was a small glimmer of hope of what would come from it, but I shut it down very quickly. I wouldn’t write about it, talk about it, accept it or even own it. Slowly though, through Grace (thank goodness for His grace) and releasing fear and control, I slowly began to Rise Up.
RISE UP…I had to pray fervently about what this meant in my life. The changes to be made, the sacrifices that needed to be made, the toxicity that had to be released. THE WILL – that had to let go of the secular life I tried to run along side with my spiritual life. I had to finally agree to align my will with God…no excuses, no rationalizations, no compromises. It certainly hasn’t been easy, but it has definitely been worth it. Every tear, every prayer, every loss has brought me closer to Him. His presence is definitely where I want to spend all of my days, nights, hours, minutes, seconds.
I encourage you today, if you are stuck in sin, RISE UP, seek Him and repent. Your life is worth so much more than the stronghold that has you trapped right now. The victory is won, Jesus already paid the price for you to be free. Find an accountability partner to help you walk through this and seek the Holy Spirit daily, hourly if needed so you can walk in His wisdom.
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