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May 8, 2004 was one for the books…the weather was perfect – a blend of warm sunshine with sweet breezes, a gentle reminder of the final days of Spring in Atlanta. Starting early in the morning, I hustled from home, to the salon, to the church, gathering with my closest friends to get ready for one of the most exciting days of my life. I tried so hard to relish every moment, take in every block of time, every word spoken by our loved ones and each of our guests, every look on my new husband’s face, every song we danced to.

As with any wedding, there were flaws and mishaps that went against what had been planned, but from the outsiders perspective, everything seemed to be flawless. Just like the image that I have been portraying my whole life, flawless…perfection. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy. With a day like that, how could you not be? But I ignored the inner warnings and the red flags and looking back after years and countless dollars spent on therapy my wedding day was truly the start of a journey that would show the real me…the broken, selfish tyrant that lived deep inside. The me that had formed over the previous 23 years, fueled by rejection, anger, disappointment, pain, abandonment, distrust, hatred, lack of boundaries and insecurities and as a result carelessly hurting people every where I went.

Looking back I never would have imagined on my wedding day, all the pain my now ex-husband and I would cause each other. I would never have guessed after 15 years spent with a man I loved, that I would give up, be done or walk away from a marriage that I promised “To have and to hold, til death do us part”, but I did. I have talked to many women over the past few years that were in the same boat, some men too. It’s been stirring in my heart to write about it – say what others won’t or don’t know how to say. I will share my journey of divorce, healing, being in a parenting partnership with the one I thought I would spend forever with and the intimidating and ridiculous journey of after divorce dating – (*cough cough) ONLINE!

I hope that if you are walking through a time of uncertainty or if you’re on the other side of divorce, this will give you a place to cry, laugh, identify with and most importantly, find a friend.

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Phone: 850.910.1893

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